[fast5] Old Member Struggling to implement Fast 5. I just can't gain control. Help!

*warning, long post, sorry!

Hi All.

I have never discussed my eating problem with anyone. This is the first time I have attempted because I feel it is ruling and ruining my life!

I have been secretly lurking the forum for a few months now with the intention of starting the Fast 5 but I keep slipping! Now I have fallen off the wagon completely.

I have always had a problem with food. When I was a child I was always made to clean my plate. Lots of starving Children in the World… Clean a plate that had a meal fit for a working man at the age of 9. This meant sitting at the table for hours until I finally managed to clear my plate. I had to resort to hiding food in places until it was safe to throw it away later.

I am 41 next month, 81kg and a compulsive eater. Even though I know how to eat healthily I always find I eat junk. Once I start it's difficult for me to stop. This is why I think the fast 5 will be fantastic for me as it will help me to gain some control back.

The problem I have is I have a 2 year old. I hate throwing food away and he is going through his fussy eating stage. What he doesn't eat I usually do which breaks my window of eating. Also I like t sit down and eat with him to try and encourage him to eat what we eat (healthy food) I never eat junk in front of him. This is reserved for my secret eating. Even my Husband doesn't know about.

I found I am a Protein Type. This means when I have carbs they have a very negative effect on me and make me crave and gorge on the worst kind of simple sugars! If I stick to my Protein Type foods, weight drops off easily and I don't crave food or get hungry between meals.

What can I do to get the control back? Without controlling my food I feel I can't control my life. When I control my food, I feel good. I feel confident and I feel I can achieve anything. I want to feel like that, so why I can't I just do it?

I'm sorry for the long post. Thank you to anyone kind enough to read it and give me some input.

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